


im only honest when it rains

by onewiththesunandstars



Category: Dance with Devils (Anime), Dance with Devils (Video Game)
Genre: F/M, also yes i did include my oc shhhhhhhhhh, and would you believe it i finished it haha, half of the characters are like just mentioned but yOU know, i dont know everything abt whats happening there but whatever, just gotta include them, this is based on the common route in the game where you make all rem choices and ya, wrote this in chemistry class
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-28
Updated: 2019-03-28
Packaged: 2019-12-25 21:47:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 821
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18269921
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onewiththesunandstars/pseuds/onewiththesunandstars
Summary: Set during the game's left door common route.Rem starts questioning what sacrifices he is willing to make in order to get the Forbidden Grimoire, and whether the end justifies the means.Title from "Neptune" by Sleeping At Last





	im only honest when it rains

Every interaction Rem's had with Ritsuka feels like a match to him; for every move he makes forward, she makes one that forces him to step back, and in time, he even expects her to, moves in question and answer, gets to know his enemy. It's a game, a dance, and he enjoys it.

She might he the best opponent he's been against, and when the masks finally drop, and he finds that she's got nothing to hide, the betrayal in her voice next to his ear chafes badly. It's intrusive and painful, and Rem doesn't like the way guilt is quick to consume his thoughts.

 _You dont have to like it_ , he remembers the words of a soldier—Avraam—that he fended off Maksis’ men with.

 _I killed people,_ he said _, my brother was with Maksis, I killed him too._ He said, _his face haunts me when I sleep_ , he said, _you'll have faces haunting you too, from this battle, and the next, and the one after._ _You'll lose sleep at best_ , he said, _but that's the price our future demands._

Avraam died the very next day— an enemy tricked him into killing himself, and Rem saw. He was fifteen, and Avraam was the first face to haunt his dreams. His sister, the second.

So he thinks, it's worth it _._ He could bear Ritsuka's hatred, if not her fear. It's worth it.

The thought is little comfort, so as he passes Ritsuka in the hallway the day after, he checks how she's holding up (she's fine, of course she is, she's just taking a break from class), says he's sorry before he can stop himself.

 _It's worth it_ , he thinks, when he finds her in the library mere minutes later.

 _It's worth it_ , he thinks, when he corners her and watches her fear grow. He thinks, when she pushes back despite it.

Urie asks him if he feels anything for Ritsuka. It’s a taunt, but Rem brushes it off and says, no, he doesn’t. He still runs to her the second he feels something wrong.

Her brother is an exorcist. It makes sense, and Rem should have figured it out. But he didn’t. He should have— but on his mind is the way he finds them, cornered and bloody, the way Ritsuka looks, how the sight of her crying kills him a bit.

It’s worth it, he thinks, the next day when he runs into her, and she thanks him, _thanks him_ , it’s like a blow to the gut.

 _It’s worth it_ , he thinks, when he breaks into her mind, looking for something he knows isn’t there. _It’s worth it_ , he hears her thoughts, _he doesn’t trust me, of all people I hoped at least he would trust me—_

His father accuses him of treason. Fraternizing with the enemy. He slams Rem’s head into the ground hard enough to see stars, and makes him swear that he’ll bring the Grimoire to him. He obliges.

Later, she glows with the might of a dying star. Screams like she is truly dying. Rem doesn’t know what to make of it, he’s terrified, then he hears triumphant laughter.

 _This is it,_ Roen says _, this is the power of the Forbidden Grimoire._

_This is it._

_This is it._

Rem wants to vomit.

The light dies down. The barrier falls and gives way to a blue sky.

Ritsuka is kneeling on the ground a few feet from him. She’s shaking, and looks about to faint any second.

Ritsuka. _Ritsuka._ It can’t be.

He crawls towards her. _Are you okay_ , he asks, _did he do anything to you?_

She doesn’t respond.

The Grimoire is inside of her. The wording sounds ridiculous.

Lindo tells him to stay away from her, and he listens; says, _take care of her, make sure she rests_ , and lets his feet carry him away.

He finds Ritsuka’s number and calls every day to make sure she’s okay. He doesn’t know why, knows only that she’s become one of the faces that join the terrors in his sleep, knows only that he wants her to _live_.

For three days, no one answers, not even her brother. On the fourth day, she picks up, her voice lifeless as she answers, Rem wants nothing more than to soothe it. _It’s sleeping inside of me_ , she says, giving life to the words, making them real, _are you going to target me now? To get the Grimoire?_

He doesn’t know what to say.

 _Sorry, I’m dizzy, I don’t know why I said that, I’m going back to sleep now,_ she says, _good, make sure to rest up,_ he replies.

_Thank you for coming for me back there._

He hangs up. She can’t say that, not now, especially not now.

Again, he remembers Avraam, thinks, _It’s worth it, It’s worth it, It’s worth it._

It's worth it. If he keeps telling himself that, maybe he’ll even believe it.


End file.
